Juaniqua likes her men like she likes her romance novels: steamy, obscenely muscular, and disposable after a weekend. In the spirit of that, I got the idea to put her on the cover of a romance novel. And while I drew it, I came up with an appropriately cheesy description written on the back, which reads like this:

“Mary Sue Saint-Germaine has always gotten what she wanted, be it money, new dresses, or a young man to take her out on the town. But the voluptuous Old West debutante was taken by surprise when she was abducted by a gang of banditos during a train robbery, and is whisked away by Reynaldo Contreras- a hot-blooded rogue who got more than he bargained for in Mary Sue’s kidnapping.

“As their love blossoms in the cool desert nights, Mary Sue is faced with choosing the life of comfort she has always known, or the danger and wild adventure that Reynaldo promises her. And what will happen when her new lover discovers her dark secret?”